Perfection is really the road to imperfection. What has been your relationship to imperfection; to the acceptance of it in everyday life?
My relationship with perfection is currently in flux. For so long, the idea of perfect equaled everything would be alright, everything was under control, safe, and "figured out." I'm learning to shift my ideas and attachment to the meaning behind words.
Perhaps Gertrude Stein said it best:"There ain't no answer.
There ain't gonna be any answer.
There never has been an answer.
There's your answer."
There is no "right" way to be yourself; rarely, if ever is there permanence. But there is process. How have you come to know yourself differently in the past year?
With the most willingness and reluctance that can coexist, I decided to try living in one place for the last eight months. I was determined to have a home. I gave myself over to a place, to routine, and a new way of living. Having this space helped me reach new truths about myself, the world, my family, friends... you name it. I knew going in that it wouldn't be forever. This was hard for me, becuase I always miss things before they have ended, and sometimes before they've started. Eventually we would leave, move and start again... I wouldn't always have a perfect plan and that terrified me. But as my mom lovingly reminded me, "Being terrified is fine, but don't let the terror hold you back."
It's an understatement to say I'm thankful for process and growth. Having this kind of home taught me that nothing is promised or permanent. It illuminated how I took so much for granted for too long, that things will fall apart but you can build it up again. That everything is "figureoutable." (Thank you Oprah and Marie Forleo!)
My biggest take away from this year might be:
I do not have the time and space to be readily available to everyone and though it's hard at first, taking space and saying no is OKAY! I learned that saying no is a powerful YES to myself!
" Growing up, we had a lime tree that on occasions produced huge, yellow lemons that tasted like grapefruit. Nature just gets it and is always there to remind us perfection is an idea in our mind, not a way of life."